Web copy should get to the point. Say it fast. Keep it simple.
We grabbed this copy hot off the web. The company name is fictitious. Let's make this copy better.
Original copy: Sparkle Logistics Systems is a full-service contract logistics and consulting company that uses technology-driven solutions to integrate and simplify complex logistics operations.
Make it better: Sparkle Logistics Systems ships products and materials across the street or around the world. If you need affordable shipping solutions that ensure prompt, safe delivery with live tracking, call us.
Original Copy: Sparkle Logistics Systems provides solutions that deliver measurable value to customers. Our innovative thought, logistics experience, affordable solutions, and proven dSEC principles provide our customers with a competitive advantage through logistics excellence.
Make it better: Delivering parcels and products safely and on time is all we do. We have the tools and experience to get the job done; that's why we do it better.
Original Copy: Regardless of the size of your business, your industry, or your business challenges, Sparkle can help. We invite you to learn more about Sparkle and the value we deliver.
Make it better: Call us. Big business or small, we'll show you how to deliver your products safely, and on time. We don't just don't just shine, we Sparkle!
Cut to the chase! No need to use the word logistics three times in one sentence. Don't staple 35 adjectives to every noun. Use simple words in short, energetic sentences. Arouse interest and curiosity, then add detail. Don't run visitors away with blasst of unfamiliar technobabble, polysyllabic tongue twisters, and long sentences.